Alone at Heaven's Door
by Pageofswords23
Summary: A short story on how Maria came to be Robert de Sable's steward and most trusted companion.


**_DISCLAIMER_**  
This short story contains _very_ adult themes. If you are easily offended by erotic literature I highly suggest you **_do not_** read this piece. Thank You.

**_A Village in the Kingdom; 1182_**

Maria leaned back in her chair taking a large gulp of her refreshing cold mead. It had been a godsend that they happened on this Christian village in the middle of the desert. They had been marching for days, the blistering hot sun pouring down on the group like a brimstone storm. As exhausted as she was, she still counted her blessings. At least _she_ had a horse to ride upon. The lesser ranking soldiers in their group had to _march_ in these dreadful conditions.

At first, she did not think that they would stop. Their leader, Robert de Sable, had shown no intention of letting the group rest. As they passed the local inn the owner came running out and fell on his knees in front of their commander, weeping out praises to him and the Crusader cause. Sibrand, their master's current steward, instantly put himself and his horse between the fanatical man and de Sable. They were about to start up the march again when the owner begged them to take residence at his lavish inn and tavern for the night.

"Please!" the man cried, "You will have the finest of rooms, all the succulent foods you can eat, ales, wines and mead to quench your immense thirst _and_ the most lovely of maidens to indulge your greatest of desires. Of course, this would be at no cost to you and your men!"

Sibrand leaned over to their leader, never taking his eyes off of the man. De Sable whispered something to his most faithful of companions to which he nodded in understanding and agreement. Both men dismounted their steeds and, Sibrand taking both reins, handed them to the owner in acceptance of the offer.

Though the outside of the inn was Arabic in design, the inside was decorated in a comforting reminder of European decadence. It was an impressive building, probably having belonged to a Saracen noble or rich merchant before the Christians had captured the town. The first level contained a grand tavern where visitors could eat, drink, gamble, find a companionship for the night and make merry. The second floor contained the basic rooms where the common soldiers in their little battlement would be sharing lodgings. Finally, the third level held the suites, each with personal lavatories, where Sibrand, Maria and the three other stewards in-training would have their own quarters to reside in. At the end of the hall on this same floor was the master suite to which was given specially to de Sable.

Maria relaxed quietly, letting the noise of the tavern fill her ears. The three other stewards in-training bragged on and on of their great deeds while Sibrand and their leader listened with feigned interest. It was quite a shock that the two high lords had joined them at their table, a sense of disbelief and pride filled the neophytes. She drifted off into thought, not remembering the last time she had been so tranquil since joining de Sable's group. Had it really been a year since she had been invited to join his company? Maria smiled, now that was a day she would never forget.

She had been in the Holy Land for only a short time, having escaped the tyranny of a male dominated world in Europe. Here she masqueraded as a crusader; no longer was she Maria the woman. It had been simple enough to disguise herself as an adolescent boy, donning the baggy clothing of a soldier, cutting her strawberry-blonde hair short and restricting her maidenly form with a breast-band. When bathing needed to be done she simply woke before her fellow fighters and snuck away from camp. Even the pesky hindrance of her monthly curse was of little concern. The few times she had almost been revealed because of this affliction was easily explained away by injury from battle or training.

Maria had been winding down with her comrades when the four figures on horseback had appeared in the horizon shortly followed by a small regiment. She watched as they group approached their camp; an older Hospitaller monk, a ruddy looking confidant to the king, a German archer and steward, and finally an imposing Templar knight. Their captain went out to meet the group and, after speaking briefly to them, called forth a group of sixteen soldiers to line up. Maria was one of them chosen and was perplexed at what all the commotion was about.

The answer came soon enough. The leader of the group, the Templar, was in need of a new steward as his was to be joining the knighthood of the Teutonics in the coming year. He requested that the best fighters be selected by the captain to which he and his companions would pick four men to train as his personal guardian. After their training, one would be chosen for him. The other three remaining would be sent as assistants to each of his companions.

The first to choose was the Hospitaller, a man named Garnier de Naplouse. He immediately went to Maugan, the son of a noble in Europe. He was a delicate adolescent and terrible soldier, a poor choice in the eyes of everyone. Later, Maria found out that the monk had been bribed by the youth's father. In return for choosing his son, Garnier would get free medical reign over the serfs working at the families territory when he returned to France.

Next came the ruddy looking confidant, William of Montferrat. He walked the line of men, vocally announcing each ones weakness. Finally he stopped in front of Ignazio, a good-looking youth who had the grace of a butterfly when he fought on the field. Unfortunately, he spent more time looting the villages of their virgins than practicing his combat. This tended to get him in a great deal of trouble not only with his superiors but also the local fathers.

The archer and current steward to the Templar, Sibrand, was then to select a candidate. He too went down the line, pushing the soldiers and yelling vulgarities at them in German. He only stopped when he was unable to budge one of his victims. Humbert, a sturdy Goliath of a man, was his pick. He was as hard as a rock with the strength of an ogre. Sadly, for those giving him orders, he was as brainless as a brick.

Finally, it was the Templar's turn to make a decision. Maria silently prayed to God to let her be the last one chosen. Looking up, she watched as he removed his helmet and handed it to his loyal steward. Maria concealed an intake of breath as she felt her body slightly swoon. Quickly regaining her composure, she fully took in the sight before her. My God…..he was _beautiful_!

Robert de Sable was the epitome of masculinity; a sacred Adonis seated on a dazzling pale steed. He had a handsomely rugged face, soft brunette stubble adorning his chiseled jaw line. Thick brown brows slanted into his alluring sapphire eyes which looked down upon the soldiers over his razor sharp nose. His thin lips were the faintest of pinks and only helped accentuate the sheer indifference splayed across his striking visage. Even the unsightly battle scar on his shaved head could not take away from the magnificence of this knight.

He trotted his horse up and down the line of young men sizing them up. None dared look at the formidable knight and most adverted their eyes by staring timidly at the sandy soil beneath their feet. Maria kept her head raised proudly never averting her gaze from the man. As Robert turned his steed around for one more look at the pathetic soldiers, he caught her gleaming emerald eyes delving into him. He rode up to her and, not dismounting, stared right back.

"What is your name, soldier?" he asked, voice harsh yet debonair.

"Mari…" Maria started but quickly shook herself back to reality, "Jean-Marie."

"And how old are you?"

"I am sixteen, my lord." she lied. What could she do? Tell him the truth, that she was the same age as his current steward, and risk losing being chosen.

Robert dismounted and walked over to her. He stared at her, for what seemed an eternity, scrutinizing her entire being. Then, in a swift motion, he grabbed her chin firmly. He tilted her grimy porcelain face from side to side leaving no pore unexamined. When he was satisfied with his findings he turned and remounted his stallion.

"Get a horse, Jean-Marie. We leave immediately." Robert commanded.

And so had begun her instruction as a possible replacement to Sibrand. A few weeks into their training a group of fellow Crusaders came to their small detachment looking for Garnier. Apparently there had been a skirmish with some local Saracens and many in the nearby village were wounded. They were short doctors and requested his assistance. Soon after Garnier's departure a messenger arrived with news for William. Evidently his son, Conrad the Arse as he affectionately referred to him, was in a bit of trouble and was in need of his father's aid. He left immediately grumbling all the while. The pair never did return to the squad.

Robert had little to nothing to do with the new recruits. Instead he preferred to stay in his tent pouring over crumbling maps and ancient scrolls. That left Sibrand in charge of them and his training exercises were on the borderline of cruelty. Robert never interjected and it seemed to Maria that Sibrand's ferocity was unleashed on her more so than the other novices. She did not care though, whatever did not kill her would only make her stronger. While the others would brag to Sibrand about their great deeds and valor, like children wanting their parents acceptance, she would let her actions speak louder than their words.

A pair of delicate hands rubbing her shoulders brought Maria back from her musings on the past. She jumped slightly and turned to see who exactly it was that dared put their hands on her. The bright smile and heavily painted face of a tavern wench greeted her.

"And what is your name, great combatant?" she warmly queried starting to run her hands down Maria's chest.

"Be gone harlot!" Maria barked, grabbing the woman by the wrists and flinging her forcefully away. "I have no use for you _or_ your sullied companionship!"

Ignazio, who already had one of the tavern's strumpets on his lap, seized the woman in his arms. "Come here my beauty. I would be honored if you would accompany me to my bedchamber this night and let me appreciate you and your enchantments."

The woman giggled optimistically and sat on what remained of Ignazio's lap. Maria grumbled in disgust, catching the eye of the scorned tavern wench. It was because of these types of so-called ladies that the men she fought with, all men, had no respect for her gender. The woman shot her a pouty scowl and let out a shrill humph.

"Pay no attention to him." Ignazio maliciously teased. "He is but a boy among men and probably would have no knowledge on how to properly gratify one as fair as you. In fact, if I am not mistaken, I believe he fancies _his_ privacy with the elder gentlemen. Isn't that correct, Jean-Marie?"

The three novice stewards and their despoiled women began to laugh. Humbert banged on table boisterously with dim-witted glee and even the fickle Maugen, who was leisurely sipping his wine with one pinky finger extended, let out a loud snicker. Robert, whom Maria had never seen crack a smile, chuckled. Sibrand, it seemed, was the only one perturbed by the uncouth joke. Rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest he grunted in repulsion. Maria snatched her mug of ale and gulped down the last bit. Slamming the empty cup on the table, she rose hastily which caused her chair to tumble backwards.

"I think I shall retire for the evening, _friends"_ she sneered, trying her best to control her rising anger. "Good eve, all."

Turning her back to them, Maria made her way over to the staircase leading up to her third floor suite. She steadied her breath, trying to calm herself. Stopping at the banister, she took one last look back at the group and fixed her gaze on Robert. He was leaning into Sibrand, whispering something that he did not want the others to hear. Sibrand shook his head in comprehention and took the coin purse that Robert handed him. She watched as he made his way over to the prostitutes' madam and, after speaking briefly to her, handed her the coinage inside the small bag.. She nodded in acceptance and beckoned him to follow her to a back room. Starting to climb the stairs Maria sighed; a refreshing warm bath would do some good right about now.

Maria had just come out of the bath when a loud knocking vibrated throughout her room. She quickly grabbed the loosest fitting tunic she had and threw it on. Grabbing her chain mail head piece, she quickly covered her short blonde hair and answered the door. Sibrand stood before her, a look of annoyance on his face for having been made to wait.

"Jean-Marie", he curtly addressed her. "The Master has requested an audience with you immediately. Dress yourself properly and meet me in the hall. Leave your weapons."

Maria nodded and closed the door. Throwing off her coverings, she darted around the room looking for her undergarments and the clean tunic the women washers had brought up for her. She hurriedly dressed and only stopped briefly to look at her form in the mirror to make sure that she had kept up the boyish looking façade. Satisfied with what she saw she left her room to join Sibrand.

"Mein Gott, it's about time", Sibrand scolded, motioning for her to follow him down the hall to their Master's suite in the tavern.

Maria followed silently. She dared not ask Sibrand what this late night meeting with Robert was about. Not because she feared the man, no, but because she did not want to be bothered with hearing his harsh voice chastising her for asking questions he was unwilling to give answers for. She sighed, soon enough she would find out.

The pair stopped outside of Robert de Sable's master suite in the tavern. Two foot soldiers stood guard and abruptly saluted the imposing knight and his companion. Sibrand ignored their gesture and immediately began barking orders at them in German. Maria did not know what he had said, but whatever it was shook the men to the core and they quickly abandoned their post. Sibrand turned to the confused girl and threw a small satchel at her.

"Give this to Robert." he ordered, leaning up against the wall next to the door leading to their master's bedroom. "What are you waiting for? **_Macht Schnell_**!"

Maria nodded at him and lightly tapped at the huge wooden door. She sucked in her breath trying to control the nervousness engulfing her entire body. She had been in his company for a while now, yet never alone in his presence. Questions kept circling her mind as to what was in store for her. A soothing, masculine voice brought her from her near trance.

"Entrez!" Robert's voice called form the other side of the door.

Maria entered the large suite and took in the sheer elegance of it. Tapestries of Crusader knights lined the walls as did flickering candles that danced in the nights breeze from the open stained glass windows. A massive, ornate fireplace sat on one wall directly in the middle of the room and it's flames cast spectral shadows across a solid oak table in front of it. The last thing to catch her eye was the canopied bed. Purest of white silk sheets covered it's down soft mattress and an array of fluffy feather pillows sat at the elaborately decorated headboard.

"If you would," Robert's voice said bringing her back from admiring her surroundings, "Lock the door please."

Maria did as she was told. After walking over to Robert, who was leisurely leaning on the fireplace sipping wine, she bowed in respect.

"My lord, you wished to see me?" she politely asked, then remembered the satchel. "Oh! Meister Sibrand told me to give this to you. My apologies for….."

With a wave of his hand Robert silenced her. Taking the satchel, he opened it up to examine it's contents. A pleased smile spread across his lips. After closing the bag, he let fly of it. Maria watched as the satchel landed perfectly on a chair in the corner of the room which also held a mortar and pestle. Her eyes were brought back to the stunning man in front of her by his voice.

"Ah, Sibrand." Robert praised, now leaning on his sword like a cane and gazing intently at the fire. "Such a good steward. Always following my orders, striving to be the best soldier he could be, always believing and trusting me."

"Indeed." Maria agreed, "He will make a good knight for the newly formed Teutonic Order. The Crusade needs more men like him."

"Tell me, Jean-Marie," Robert asked, ignoring her comment and turning his sights to her, "do you believe in me?"

"Without a doubt." she responded.

"Would you die for me in battle?" he pressed on.

"I would not hesitate to die for you!" came her immediate reply.

"Do you trust me?"

"Absolutely."

"And you would follow my every order, no matter how asinine?"

Maria bowed humbly, "Without question."

Robert placed his wine goblet on the fireplace mantel and turned back to Maria, a wicked grin upon his lips. "Then I command you to remove your clothing."

Maria looked at him aghast and nervous, "My lord?"

Robert chuckled and promptly drew his sword, poking her in the breastbone, "Already you hesitate to obey my orders. Then let me put it this way; either you remove your clothing of your own free will or I shall remove them for you. I must warn you, the drink has gone to my head and my blade arm is a bit shaky."

Maria let out a sigh of defeat, "Yes my lord."

Robert lowered his sword with a bemused smile of triumph as Maria began to undress. She went slowly as to drag out the pain and humiliation of finally revealing herself. She started with her boots and gloves first then moved to her chain mail head piece. Next she undid her belt and let it fall to the floor with a soft thud. Reaching to the base of her tunic, she unhurriedly pulled it over her head and let it rest by her belt. She took off her undershirt and pants next, leaving her standing in nothing but her breast band and underwear.

"That will do." Robert said stopping her from undressing further, a coy smirk upon his face. "As I suspected, you _are_ a woman."

Maria looked at him astonished, "How long have you known?"

Robert laughed, amused at her bewilderment. "You insult my intelligence, dear maiden! Since the day I met you, I have known."

Maria shivered, the mixed emotions of failure and anger filling her soul. Robert tossed his sword to the ground and slowly walked up to her. He looked her up and down from head to toe, reveling in her absolute beauty. She backed up but hit her bottom on the table, refraining her escape from the masculine form in front of her.

"Tell me," Robert started, gently brushing the blonde hair away from the side of her face, exposing her ear and neck, "how old are you really?"

Maria swallowed hard, "I have seen one and twenty springs."

Robert smiled gently at her, "And what is your real name?"

Letting out a soft sigh, she replied, "Maria."

"_Maria_…" he cooed, placing his lips upon the nape of her neck, kissing delicately.

Maria felt her knees start to give way and grabbed on to the table to support herself. Robert pushed on, kissing and licking his way up to her mouth. Finally, he found her lips to his and warmly parted them with his agile tongue. She kindly accepted the kiss and let herself be laid upon the abrasive table. So engrossed in the moment, Maria only vaguely felt Robert draw his dagger and run the cold tip from her belly button to her chest. In a swift motion, he had cut through the breast band exposing her ample bosom. Throwing his dagger across the room, he eagerly grasped her left breast while his right hand slid down the side of her trembling flesh to her remaining undergarment.

"_Ma petite fille de soldat…_" Robert purred, fondling her womanhood and removing the cloth that kept him from fully enjoying it.

Maria instinctively reached for his belt and, unbuckling it with nimble fingers, let it drop to the floor. A breathy moan betrayed her as Robert gingerly stroked her most sensitive of areas. She reached out, removing both his tunic and undershirt, the need to touch his bare flesh unbearable. Reaching around her waist, he brought her to his muscular body hugging her tightly. As she wrapped her legs and arms around him, he lifted her up and brought her to the bed.

Robert grabbed her under her arms and playfully tossed her on the silken sheets. A sinful grin graced his lips as he undid the ties to his trousers letting them fall to the ground. Maria suppressed her gasp of amazement and apprehension as she beheld his manhood. Like the rest of him, it was an immeasurably spectacular sight to gaze at. He leisurely slinked next to her on the bed, covering her trembling body with his own.

He started slowly at first, planting enchanting kisses on her shoulders, neck and face. Soon his adept tongue found hers and he let his strong hands take free roam of her body. Leaving no part untouched, his hands made their way down to her porcelain thighs and he slyly spread them apart. Robert balanced himself above her and, without hurry, entered her halfway. He began a gentle pace not daring to fully sheath himself within her. Maria clung to the sheets as if to rip them apart with the claws of a wild animal.

"No…", a breathy murmur escaped her lips.

"No?" he asked both concerned and disenchanted.

Robert had been afraid this might happen as it had so many times before. He had been so sure that she would be different than the others he had been with. Noble women all too willing to give of themselves but unable to obtain him completely. He knew that he could visit any local brothel and take what he wanted from the whores, for a price, but he refused to do so. He was a de Sable, a noble after all, and he would not lower himself like the common soldiers he commanded. He began withdrawing himself from her lovely folds when she arched her back and clung tightly to him, nails digging into his shoulder blades as if to draw blood.

"NO!" Maria cried out, imploring him. "I want you…_all_ of you!"

"If this is what you wish." Robert complied, a nefarious smirk spreading across his mouth.

Swiftly he grabbed her and flopped her on her belly. Lifting her hips to meet his he thrust all of his manhood into Maria's virgin-like delights. She whimpered but began to rock her hips in a burst to alleviate her desire. Robert seized her by her hair and brought her up to his stalwart body holding her tightly so that she could not move.

"Sachez quand votre adversaire est à leur plus faible," he hissed in her ear, "alors dominez-les!"

Robert lowered his hands to her hips and began to guide her in a disciplined rhythm. She moaned in the bliss and pain of him grinding into her. Soon his rhythm became faster, his actions more turbulent on the verge of release. In a flash Maria removed herself from him and pressed her back against the cool wooden headboard facing him. Robert stared at her, a look of confusion and frustration spread across his face.

"What are you…?" he started to demand but was cut short by the sudden movement of the feral woman.

In an instant, Maria lunged at him knocking him flat on his back. She crawled over him like a lioness stalking her prey, her green eyes ablaze. She straddled him and fully took his entity of lust within her. He snarled and, clutching her hips in a brutal grip, began the process driving himself into her to fulfill his want. In an equally powerful grasp, Maria snatched his hands away and pinned them above his head. She leaned in close, her breath a warm reminder of the passion he felt for her.

"Know when your adversary is at their weakest," Maria repeated teasing him, "then dominate them!"

"Touché!" Robert joked back, amused at her antics.

Maria leaned back up, a look of victory coming over her visage. Slowly she began to rock her hips forward and back watching Robert take pleasure in every minute of her tantalizing play. He reached his hands up her sides and bosom then lowered them to her hips, holding on but letting her dictate the rhythm of their coupling. Her pace quickened as she changed strategy and began riding him in a circular motion.

"Ma petite fille de soldat," Robert moaned, "Ma déesse du champ de bataille!"

At his words, Maria flung her hands upon his sturdy chest bracing herself. She began pounding onto him hard, her actions turning into a frenzy of pleasure. Throwing her head back and digging her fingernails into his breast, Maria cried out as the waves of ecstasy he gave finally liberated her. Her womanhood clutched at him greedily as to drain his very soul. Robert responded to her with his own primeval roar of release, pouring his entire being within her.

Both shook fiercely, letting the uninhibited aftereffects of lovemaking engulf their entire bodies. Chests heaving, they panted heavily for what seemed like hours trying to regain both their breath and composure. Wiping the sweat from his brow, Robert moved first and gazed up to the woman above him. She remained on him still trembling from the encounter. He smiled fondly at her and, gently lifting her from his now calming member, laid her next to him. Maria snuggled cozily to the warm embrace of his body. Drifting off into the musky darkness of slumber she faintly heard the sweet-nothings he whispered to her in French.

Maria awoke slowly, the clinking noise of marble on marble grinding an unknown substance rousing her from slumber. A satisfied yawn breathlessly left her lips when suddenly panic struck her. Her eyes opened in a flash and, not remembering where she was, she dared not stir. Gradually, the ache between her legs reminded her. She sat up fully to observe Robert, now with only his trousers on, standing at the table and mixing the contents of the satchel in the mortar with a pestle. Feeling as though he was being watched he turned his head only to her and smiled.

"Did we have a nice nap, ma beauté de sommeil?" he asked, turning back to his work and emptying the contents of the mortar into a goblet of hot water.

"What hour is it?" she asked rubbing the sleep from her eyes and covering herself with the silken sheets.

"The middle of the night, at least." he answered walking over to her and sitting down on the bed. He handed her the goblet. "Here, drink this."

"What is it?" she asked wrinkling her nose, "What a foul stench it has!"

Robert laughed, "_Again_ you question my command? Let us just say if you wish to stay in my service as a crusader soldier you will drink it."

Maria nodded, finally realizing what the strange potion was. She gulped the disgusting brew down, blanching at the unpleasant taste. Robert snickered and, taking the cup from her, rose to replace it with his own goblet of wine. He handed it to her and she enthusiastically swallowed it's contents down to rinse her mouth of any remains of the medicinal drink. After taking that glass from her as well and setting it on the table, he walked to the other side of the bed and snuggled up to her. She bent her body to mold with his, her back pressing firmly against his chest.

"You know," he teasingly murmured, bracing himself up on one arm and running his fingers up and down the length her bare side causing goose-bumps, "we will have to work on your reluctance to have faith in me and obey my orders straight away if you are to be my new steward."

Maria wanted to jump out of her skin with jubilation and seize him in an embrace of a thousand thanks. Her joy was short lived, however, as a different revulsion enclosed around her heart. She shuddered with grief as the revelation came over her. Oh God, what had she done? She had done what she swore never to and gotten what she wanted by means unforgivable to her. The escape from Europe, the years on the battlefield and the soul shattering trials she faced to become the high lord's steward now meant nothing to her. She had become that which sickened her most in life.

A whore. _His_ whore.

Robert felt her quivering against his body and looked upon the now frail maiden next to him, confused. He could see the grief splayed upon her lovely face and the tears being bravely held back. Instantly he knew his folly and, wrapping his arm around her tightly in an almost brutal embrace, pulled her as close to him as possible. He lowered his head to hers, his feathery brown stubble rubbing tenderly against her jaw line.

"I did not choose you because you gave your body to me." he huskily whispered in her ear. "No. I chose you because you have given your all to me; trusted me with your greatest of secrets. You display great valor in combat and stand strong against our heathen enemies while your fellow Crusaders falter. You, in fact, are one of _the_ best soldiers I have ever been blessed to discover."

Maria relaxed and turned to him, now back in good spirits. "Thank you, my lord. I shall not let you down."

"I know." he replied in return with a doting smile, kissing her gently on the lips. "And seeing that you have confided in me, ma déesse du champ de bataille, so shall I divulge in you _my_ most paramount of secrets. Would you like to hear of my true intentions for Holy Land and the means by which I plan on accomplishing my goal for it…..?"


End file.
